Opened Eyes

My eyes have been opened.
And there's no going back.
There's no more 'fitting in' to the world as I knew it...
my world as I knew it.
And it's scary and terrifying
and liberating.

There's no unseeing the poverty of the world
and moving back to the states doesn't make the suffering in the world disappear.

It's often too much to bear
good thing it's not my job to carry it

But I'm thrilled and privileged to be part of the solution
to be doing something
to be contributing
to be leading and loving
to be... just be
to be doing the most purposeful work of my life
to be learning (oh so much learning)
to be living out the calling I've felt since childhood

The experiences in our life shape us
We have the opportunity to learn in any situation
and boy is this shaping me
and man am I soaking in all I can
growth can be hard and painful
but oh so beautiful

My eyes have been opened
God give me the strength to keep them open
give me the compassion to face each day
give me the grace and love needed
and give me humor in the hardship

God don't let my eyes be closed.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

"This is Haiti"

'This is Haiti' is a common phrase used around here. Usually I find that it is a way of explaining the culture, the customs, the past, the way of life, the heat, the dust, the difficulty, the beauty… this is Haiti. So this is a blog about my first 2 weeks in Haiti. It has not been easy. Each day is so full, so rich, with good experiences and bad experiences. I've been sweating for the past 24 hours straight… with the exception of a few hours that I slept last night because I woke up this morning not sweating-- I was pretty excited about that. The generator battery needs repair/replacement and the city electricity in Haiti comes on whenever it wants… which means that sometimes it comes on 5 minutes per day, 1 hour per day, or even 12 hours per day. It totally and completely depends.. On….nope, nobody knows. I feel relatively accomplished that I spent my first night without any electricity -- no fan, moving air only through your windows.. So I took a quick shower with a
Read more

Deborah

It was an innocent Wednesday morning at clinic and I was in the office getting some administrative work done. At breakfast with our Medical Director, I heard wind of an emergency in the clinic. Dr. Mainviel was taking care of it. (I'd just sit in my office, our staff can take care of it, better for me to not get involved). Before too long, he was up in my office asking me if there are any ambulance services I have connections with. Fast Forward to today, Sunday, and here's where I'm at. I live in a world where babies are born falling onto their heads, where mothers don't have help or support in a maternity hospital (underfunded/undersupported, in a slum, overcrowded), where families abandon a family member when her baby dies (of no fault of her own). Where is God in this? Does it help or hurt for a 'foreigner' to get involved? The westerner has a concept of western medicine, of who and what can be saved and protected. My first job out of grad school was i
Read more

Haitian Ladies

Image
 "Hiiiiiiiiiii!" my toddler opens and closes her right hand reaching for painting from Haiti that is on the wall of her bedroom where I read, nurse, and rock her to sleep each night. Several months ago, I taught Evie to say hi to them, the Haitian Ladies, as I call them. She is now in an 18 month leap and her language is expanding every day. Tonight she started to try to say the word, 'Haitian.'  'Ashian,' she practices in the cutest little Evie voice. Her 's' sounds and 'sh' sounds slay me these days.  I love that there is Haitian art in her room, a tin art cross on the opposite wall, and a hand sewn banner by her crib, all representing the resilient, beautiful people of Haiti.  I know my daughter will grow up knowing how much her mommy loves Haiti and how her mommy's time there changed her life.  My heart simultaneously sinks as we say hi to the Haitian Ladies on the painting, with their black silouettes, baskets on their head, and colorf
Read more