Beauty for Ashes

You make beautiful things.
You make beautiful things out of the dust.

You make beautiful things.
You make beautiful things out of us.
(Gungor- Beautiful Things)

He gives beauty for ashes
Strength for fear
Gladness for mourning
Peace for despair
(Crystal Lewis- Beauty for Ashes)

God creates beauty out of the impossible, doesn't he?

I'm so thankful to be in a season of joy, happiness, peace, and rest.

My first 6 months on the mission field (like many I've talked to) was full of work, disenchantment, burn out, anger, broken promises, misplaced expectations, and near depression. My heart broke for the country of Haiti, for the people I work with, and for myself as I tried to work my way out of an impossible situation and task. There were times when my heart was so angry and times when I asked God if He was sure He had called me to this task or if I had misheard him.
Instead tending to my own needs and heart-ache, I just kept working and trying to tend to the needs of others. At 5 months on the mission field I hit total compassion fatigue which looks like emotional, physical, and spiritual exhaustion and lack of compassion for others and self.

But after a few months of self-care, boundaries, rest, friendships, and community, God is mending those broken places. He is gathering up the broken pieces and putting my heart back together. And I am so happy. I'm so content. I'm so at peace. And I'm so thankful. I'm absolutley in love with Haiti, I'm in love with what I get to do, I'm so passionate about the work we're doing in the clinic and the investment in our community in Haiti. I'm thankful that I get to come back to the states and visit my friends and family and rest. I'm thankful for the many ways God has provided on the mission field and off. I am so thankful for the miraculous friendships God has provided in Haiti.

I had a friend pray over me recently and it was pretty incredible. She said she could sense God bringing all the broken pieces together into a whole heart and wrapping it with a bow. What a beautiful picture of how God heals, mends, makes all things new. It's hard to imagine in the midst of the hurt how He will heal those broken places but it's such a beautiful thing when He creates beauty from ashes.

Thanks for being part of this journey and supporting me in living this dream and this calling.


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