God Does

I've been meaning to write this blog post for quite some time. It's been a bit crazy lately-- the last two weeks I've had a goodbye & fundraising party, had a garage sale, gotten rid of almost all of my material possessions (or pawned them off on family-- thanks sister and cousin), and I'm now on the plane to Florida to move to Haiti tomorrow. Did I even mention saying 'see you later' (goodbye is too hard) to my AMAZING community of friends and family in Texas and Oklahoma?

Yup - I've been a puddle of tears most of the day (yes, day, because God was gracious enough to help me hold it all together during the last month of 'see you laters').

This story of God Does should be many blog posts… but I'll try to condense it as much as possible. Here we go:

International missions has been on my heart since I was a child. Can't tell you a time or day but it's been a long time. As a competitive gymnast most of my life, mission trips were not really an opportunity growing up because I was training all the time. Spring break? Training for state meet… you get the picture.

I went to PT school from 2009-2012 and thought I've got to be able to use this skill on the international mission field. I knew after PT school I needed to get as much experience and exposure as possible to medicine AND pay off my student debt so that I'd be available and usable for the Lord. I spent the last 3 years at a level 1 trauma center and aggressively paying off debt.

For the last year, I have been searching for international mission opportunities. I applied for Mercy Ships in October 2014 after assembling my application for months (it's not a short application). I tried to go to Ethiopia and Haiti for my church. I researched options. I tried, I applied, I tried, I applied. God WHY do you still have me in this place?? I feel like you've called me to more! I feel like you've put these desires in me for a reason! WHY is nothing working out?

Friends, I was supposed to go to Haiti for the first time in February (after not getting to go to Ethiopia or the previous Haiti trip), but I couldn't because I was in a sweet friend's wedding. Y'all by this time I was in a full on depression (not to be dramatic-- I will talk more on this later). I have a distinct memory of balling on my discipleship leader's back porch after a get together feeling hopeless and disappointed.

Back up just a few steps-- I was only in this discipleship group because a friend of mine was in it. I met the leader and thought, I've got to get more time around this lady. I asked her to allow me to join the group halfway through the year. Another girl in my discipleship group (that I was graciously welcomed to join) was the female lead on a trip to Haiti through my church in May. FINALLY- I get to go on a trip!  By this point, I was so deep in my own sorrow and stuckness that I wasn't even that excited about going!

God used my first trip to Haiti at the end of May for many reasons, but mainly to remind me of the gifts he's given me… I had almost forgotten (more on this and depression later). See my previous post for a recap of my first Haiti trip (Here). God also used my first trip to introduce me to We Care Haiti; the director of the org sat next to me on the flight home.. That was on May 30th. Y'all- God can move so fast. It's been open door after open door and answer to prayer after answer to prayer. Has it been easy? Of course not. But I have been more joyful in the past 3-4 months than I have been in years.

GOD DOES. He hand picks a mission opportunity for you that you could never dream of. He opens doors faster than you can count after a season of waiting. He brings peace and comfort that surpasses all understanding. He writes your story better than you write your own. God is faithful all the time and in my weakness, I can't see it all the time.  But in those moments and seasons where you can look back and see how God has moved it is mind-blowing and feels very special.

But what about community? What about your safety, Rachel? How HOT is it in Haiti? (Umm.. We live in Texas, people). ; ) What about the language? How will you run a clinic?

Yup, God has an answer for that too. I have an incredible group of people here in Texas who have committed to communicate with me on a weekly basis throughout the year. I am already in contact with multiple organizations in Haiti where people have said, 'let us know how we can help you.' I have had the privilege of meeting some amazing people in the US that have been going to Haiti for decades, run organizations there, go frequently, have met with me, prepped me, told me that I can do it and it's going to be okay. Literally y'all-- one small example. I got introduced to a PT in Dallas who has been going to Haiti on medical mission trips since she was 8 years old (her father was a physician) and she and her sister run a clinic in Haiti. WHAT? How could that not be more perfect? She has been an amazing guide and mentor and that is only one of the many people I've met with and talked to.

It is so very clear that God is writing this story, which I could NOT in my wildest dreams have made this happen on my own, out of my own strength or efforts. This is what I HAVE TO remember in Haiti. I like to take control and work really hard and make things happen. And while that is not all bad, I must remember that God has got this. All I have to do is say yes God. I will serve you today. Tell me what you would have me do. Show me how to move. Guide my steps. This is your doing, God. I get to cultivate a restful mindset because you are doing the heavy lifting. You are in control.

Have I mentioned we're estimated to have 500-1000 people show up to the clinic in a week? Oh yeah. Am I freaking out a little bit? Oh yeah. That's why I must remember this story. The story that I'm living. This story that God is writing.

God you are so good. You are so great. You are so powerful. And you care individually about me. I'm blown away by you, God. Help me to lean on rock that is greater than I.

Love you all. Please continue, my prayer warriors! Bless you.